By Drea Muldavin
This goes out to ALL the different types of families out there…
The day my son Nico Semyon was born was, without a doubt, the most incredible moment of my life—awe-inspiring, heart-exploding, and empowering beyond measure. Birth is both the most ordinary and extraordinary thing, and with the help of an absolutely amazing midwife and birth team, I was able to have the birth I desired at age 42—one in which I was completely present and moved along by my endorphins alone (which is NOT a judgment whatsoever of those who end up choosing or needing medical intervention). The point is, my pregnancy and Nico’s birth were both a once-implausible dream come true, as my journey to pregnancy was a long and arduous one, and for so many years I thought it was never going to happen for me.
And...I wanted to be a mama more than anything.
And...life has a funny way of saying, “Boo! Here I am, but not the way you expected me!”
A little more than four months after Nico was born, I began another journey, this time as a single mama. I can honestly say that I have never felt so grounded, focused (other than during labor!), and fulfilled, as I get to spend my waking (and “sleeping”) moments with this little human that I adore beyond the beyond. Still, getting here--like any worthwhile voyage--has not been without its pain and grief. It has required letting go of people I loved dearly, as well as letting go of a particular vision and version of family. (My own parents are still together after more than fifty years.) And finally, my getting to be the mama I want to be is in huge part due to the tremendous support of my wonderful family and my dear friends, all of whom have helped me feel supported and resourced, which is the best gift any mama can receive. In turn, I get to give Nico the very best of me, and I truly could not ask for more than that.
So, to ALL the different types of families out there—straight, queer, bio, adopted, reproductive technology-assisted, single-parented, multi-parented, step-parented, and on we go...if love is at the core, you are doin’ it right!